Essential Oils and IVF

Since opening up about our fertility journey, I have been inundated with support (#heartexplosion) The messages and emails I have received have been completely positive and it seems that this raw, real and honest sharing from the heart is sitting well with so many of you. And more importantly, helping the people that need to hear it most. If you haven’t read it yet, head back and read this post.  Essential oils and IVF is a hot topic that’s for sure! I have been getting a heap of questions about how I specifically have used essential oils in my journey so I thought I would put it all here for you, in one place.

Due to compliance and the fact that I am affiliated with a specific essential oil company, there is a limit to what I can say these oils do, even though the science is here, here and here to support it. (damn red tape!) I encourage you to do your own research on credible sites like the ones above.

Essential oils are a part of my every day routine, without fail. You can read about the general stuff here. This post is more to do with specific oils I have used to support me throughout this challenging, yet heart-opening time. And all women, whether you’re trying to make a baby or you’re hitting menopause need this gem in their life. Seriously, if you have a vagina – you need Clary Calm.

ivf essential oils

Essential oils and IVF | Part 1

IVF is an emotional journey (ya think??) We want a baby, we can’t get it and quite frankly it can sometimes feel like your heart is being ripped out of your body and shredded right in front of your eyes. Particularly when everyone else around us just has to look at a penis and they get pregnant. In those times where you don’t think you can deal with the heart ache a minute longer or the never-ending list of what-if questions feel as though they are choking you, it truly is a blessing to have these gifts from Mother Nature to take the edge off. Are they going to miraculously get you pregnant? That I can’t guarantee. Are they going to help you navigate these unfamiliar waters with more ease, grace and surrender, making things just that BIT easier to handle? In my experience, yes. Of course everyone’s experiences are different, but I truly believe getting your mindset right before you head into this is a non-negotiable. Here’s how I did it…

Back when I was pretending to be Moana on a small boat in the islands of Hawaii in December last year, I made the decision (after ooh let’s say, nearly 3 years of going nowhere) that I was going to try this thing called IVF. And it came as soon as I finished Anita Moorjani’s Dying to be Me.

IVF and essential oils

This game changing book was what I had been looking for. It put everything into perspective and really challenged some fundamental beliefs that I had been carrying around ever since I could remember. Bottom line, it doesn’t matter how many wanky “superfoods’ you put into your body or how well you can post a flattering picture of your abs on Instagram, it is your thoughts, your emotions, what you say to yourself and those around you (or in most cases what people don’t say)  that will ultimately have the greatest influence on your time here on earth. What you truly believeand feel, determines it all.

Money doesn’t grow on trees?

How’s that bank account balance going?

Bad things always happen to you.

You better believe it.

All your partners always turn out to be assholes?

I wonder why that is…

IVF is going to send me crazy as I pump all that poison into my body.

And the above is what largely stopped me from going down the IVF track, until I read this book. I can’t say it enough, and I am not going to attempt to paraphrase her genius – go and buy this book!

Everybody’s IVF experience is different, I know that. But I want to share with you what happened for me to share some hope and shed some light on what is still a largely misunderstood area. Circling back to the assumed crazies we turn into with all the ‘drugs’. Interestingly enough, studies have shown that egg donors, who receive the same amount and types of medication as someone who is actually trying to get pregnant, do not experience any of these crazy emotional outbursts. According to my Doctor, it is the attached expectation to the outcome (i.e desperately wanting to fall pregnant) that sends us all kinds of loopy, not the drugs.

IVF and essential oils

Essential oils and IVF | Part 2

The number one thing I started to do was get excited about the fact that I even had this opportunity in the first place. Modern medicine has it’s place, and how freaking fantastic is the technology that is available to us these days? #mindblowing

I also didn’t refer to my injections/drugs as anything other than ‘my baby making lollies’. In fact, I used to talk to myself and our little baby-in-the-making as I was administering them as I was determined to make it a positive experience. I have a morning ritual that involves some sort of stretching/yoga at home, meditation, tapping and journaling – so for 12 or so days, I made by baby making lollies a part of that routine!

The two oils that have supported me the most through this time have been Wild Orange {the oil of abundance} and Frankincense {the oil of truth} These two together (either in the diffuser or a drop each in the palm of my hands) helps to create a powerful aromatic anchor for me. As our sense of smell bypasses all the heavy processing and communicates directly with the limbic part of the brain (responsible for memories and emotions) essential oils have the ability to change our state and have an affect on our physiology immediately. Pretty powerful huh? Having a bottle of sunshine (Wild Orange) and a kind, wise old man (Frankincense) within my reach at all times has been a life saver.

Without getting into the nitty gritty of it all ( I will save that for another post, or you can come along to one of my workshops to hear it all in person) essential oils are made up of different chemical compounds which in turn have a different affect on our bodies. Certain oils like Ylang Ylang, Geranium and Clary Sage have soothing and harmonizing effects (make sure you check out the links above about how these guys keep hormones in check), while Peppermint, Spearmint, Grapefruit and Lemon are energizing and uplifting. You science buffs might like this chart for reference.

IVF and essential oils

Essential oils and IVF | Part 3

Now while essential oils have great individual properties, the synergistic blends of the emotional aromatherapy range hit a whole new level of support for me. I could not, and will not live without ‘Console’ forever more! In times before we decided to go down the IVF route, when I felt completely isolated, hopeless and almost depressed, it was this oil that helped give me just a glimmer of hope. I don’t know quite how to describe it other than it feels like your receiving a hug, from someone you can’t see – but you know is there. I still wear this almost daily and they are not kidding when they call it the ‘Comforting’ blend.

After egg collection, which is not the most amazing thing in the world to do while you’re awake (hello green whistle and some serious pain killers!) I was smearing my sensitive and sore tummy in organic sesame oil (not the one you cook with) combined with Peppermint and Frankincense. Ayurvedic tradition holds sesame oil in high regard with its high content of  linoleic acid and  anti-bacterial, anti-inflammatory and antioxidant properties. Perfect to soothe a lady who has just had eggs sucked out of her ovaries through a fine needle across her vaginal wall!

IVF essential oils

Essential oils and IVF | Part 4

Perhaps the biggest shift (and lesson) in of all of this has been that of fully surrendering and allowing my path to unfold as it is meant to – without my white-knuckle-control-freak-grip on it. I was quite comfortable in my pity party, thank you very much. I had grown quite attached to the “We-can’t-have-children-and-you-should-feel-sorry-for-us” story. It was all I had known for the past 4 years or so and I slowly had let that define me. Who am I kidding? I, we – my amazing husband and I – are far more fucking grander than whether we can have children naturally or not. Who gives a shit if we need a helping hand? It doesn’t mean that we are any less of a person, or any less magnificent. We haven’t done anything wrong, we are not broken and we don’t need fixing. We just couldn’t fall naturally. End. Of. Story. It’s our monkey minds that create a story of guilt, blame and shame around the facts.

I’m awesome. My husband is awesome. Our relationship has become even more awesome and I cannot tell you enough, that by owning your story, you can write the ending. It may not look, sound and feel like the one that you thought you would write, but as soon as you get out of your own way and accept things for they way the really are – I promise you, the suffering will end.

I think more has shifted for me in the last month than the last 4 years put together. I have been working very closely with Wintergreen {the oil of surrender} and Aborvitae {the oil of divine grace}. I have been sitting in hip opening yoga positions for 2 – 5 minutes and literally crying like a banshee. We store SO much emotion in our hips, we lock it up and store it away, thinking it will disappear. It doesn’t go anywhere until you face it. It sucks, and it’s yucky and it’s painful, but it’s the only way to release these old negative emotions, old limiting belief patterns and stories. And don’t think you can have a whiff of these oils and all is well in your world – you gotta do the work. You have to show up for yourself, daily and commit to change. You have to face your fears so you can let them go. And if you don’t believe it yet, if you don’t believe you’re worth doing this for, I have a message for you –

IVF and essential oils

I really hope this helps someone out there as much as it helps me just writing about it #togetherwecan

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